The Funny Section

According to reports, an unidentified man in Beersheba, Israel, was charged with burglary after the clothing that was discovered in the washing machine he was attempting to sell did not belong to him.  Detectives first became suspicious when they spotted the man attempting to peddle the washing machine on a street in the southern city.

The dectives questioned the man, discovering he was not a resident and that the clothes inside did not belong to the man.  After arresting him, police noted that they connected the laundry to a man who complained that during a break-in, his washing machine had been stolen. 

Five presidents are on a plane - George Washington, Abraham Lincoln, Theodore Roosevelt, Thomas Jefferson, and George W. Bush.

George Washington says, “I will make someone happy!” and throws a dollar bill off the plane.

Next, Abraham Lincoln says, “I will make five people happy!” and throws 5 one dollar bills off the plane.

Then, Theodore Roosevelt says, “I will make 500 people happy!” and throws 500 one dollar bills off the plane.

Finally, Thomas Jefferson says, “I will make everyone happy!” and throws George W. Bush off the plane.

• Scrabble is a registered trademark owned by Hasbro in America and Canada, and everywhere else in the world by J.W. Spear & Sons PLC, a subsidiary of Mattel.
• The Scrabble game board is 15 squares wide by 15 squares tall.
• Architect Alfred Mosher Butts invented the game in 1938, which he originally called “Criss-Crosswords”.
• Butts determined the letter value by meticulously counting letter usage in various publications.
• Lawyer James Brunot bought the game from Butts in 1948, made some minor gameplay changes, and renamed it ‘’Scrabble'’.

Dave had just returned from his Sunday round of golf later than normal and looking exhausted. “Bad day at the course?” Dave’s wife asked.

“Everything was going fine,” he said. “Then Jim had a heart attack on the 10th tee and died.”

“Oh, that’s awful!” his wife said.

“You’re not kidding. For the whole back nine it was hit the ball, drag Jim, hit the ball, drag Jim.”

If you even dream of beating me you’d better wake up and apologize.

Now you see me, now you don’t. George (Foreman) thinks he will, but I know he won’t.

A man who views the world the same at fifty as he did at twenty has wasted thirty years of his life.

I wish people would love everybody else the way they love me. It would be a better world.

We have one life; it soon will be past; what we do for God is all that will last.

A rooster crows only when it sees the light. Put him in the dark and he’ll never crow. I have seen the light and I’m crowing.

I’ll be floating like a butterfly and stinging like a bee.

According to the police in Mesa, Arizona, in the early morning of May 21st a Circle K gas station there was robbed.  According to the report, the robbery only occurred after the alledged robbers asked if it was okay.

The Circle K clerk was standing in the parking lot at the 1100 block of East University Drive after 1:00 AM when two men approached him. One asked, “Is it alright if I rob you?” and then said he was carrying two “glocks” under his arms, police said.

The two men followed the clerk inside, and while one suspect took several cases of beer from a cooler the other suspected robber took cash and a carton of smokes, police records show.  Police said the two men left in a lifted white SUV.

10,000 Maniacs: One of the band members misunderstood the name to the cult movie 2,000 Maniacs.

Pearl Jam: The name was coined by lead singer Eddie Vedder in honor of his Aunt Pearl’s homemade jam.  It’s also slang for semen.

DEVO: Short for de-evolution, something the band believed was happening to the human race.

ZZ Top: Inspired from a poster of Texas bluesman Z. Z. Hill and rolling-paper brandnames Zig Zag and Top.

Blind Melon: Bassist Brad Smith said the name was slang for unemployed hippies in a Mississipi town.

Rouleau is another name for a roll of coins wrapped in paper.

The highest denomination of any U.S. coin is the Platinum American Eagle, valued at $100.

About 19.5 million U.S. pennies are minted each day by the U.S. Treasury.

60% of the country of Liechtenstein’s GNP is generated by the sale of false teeth.

The 1909 Lincoln penny is the first U.S. coin to feature a President.