Humanoids From The Deep
From the Sci-Fi movie Humanoids From The Deep,
Scientist: “They took five death row inmates and injected them with a genetic code of sorts, taken from different species of fish, prmarily salmon. It essentially fuses with the genetic material already existing.”
Astonished Listener: “Fish-men?”
Scientist: “You could say that. The goal was to create an amphibious soldier, but . . . something went wrong.”
Funny Court Talk
Q: How many trucks do you own?
A: Seventeen.
Q: Seventy?
A: Seventeen.
Q: Seventeen?
A: No, about twelve.
——————————
Q: Tell us your full name, please.
A: Mine?
Q: Yes, sir.
A: 555-2723.
Q: Mr. Daniels, do you have any problems hearing me?
A: Not really.
Q: Where do you live?
A: Pardon?
——————————
Q: Where do you live?
A: LaPosta Trailer Court.
Q: How do you sepll that trailer court?
A: T-r-a-i-l-e-r C-o-u-r-t.
——————————
Q: Do you recall examining a person by the name of Rodney Edginton at the funer chapel?
A: Yes.
Q: Do you recall approximately the time that you examined the body of Mr. Edgington?
A: It was in the evening. The autopsy started at about 8:30 p.m.
Q: And Mr. Edgington was dead at that time, is that correct?
A: No, you dumb ***hole. He was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy.
Courtroom Dialogue
100% real transcriptions of the dialogue inside a courtroom.
Q: Doctor, will you take a look at those x-rays and tell us something about the injury?
A: Let’s see, which side am I testifying for?
———————————————–
Q: How would you expect somebody to react, being stabbed six times in this fashion?
A: Well, it might slow him down a little
———————————————–
Q: How was your first marriage terminated?
A: By death.
Q: And by whose death was it terminated?
———————————————–
Q: And what did he do then?
A: He came home, and next morning he was dead.
Q: So when he woke up the next morning he was dead?
———————————————–
Q: Can you describe the individual?
A: He was about medium height and had a beard.
Q: Was this a male or female?
———————————————–
The Court: You’ve been charged with armed robbery. Do you want the court to appoint a lawyer to represent you?
Defendant: You don’t have to appoint a very good lawyer. I’m going to plead guilty.
Court Transcripts
Actual court transcripts…
Q: James shot Tommy Lee?
A: Yes.
Q: Then Tommy Lee pull out his gun and shot James in the fracas?
A: No sir, just above it.
———————————————–
Q: Doctor, did you say he was shot in the woods?
A: No, I said he was shot in the lumbar region.
———————————————–
Q: Have you lived in this town all your life?
A: Not yet.
———————————————–
Q: The hospital is to the right?
A: It was on this side.
Q: When you say this side, can you say right or left?
A: Sure. Right or left.
———————————————–
Judge (to jury): If that be your verdict, to say you all.
Two jurors: You all
