Some Advice For Hillary Clinton
Hillary Clinton gets elected President and while spending her initial night in the White House, the ghost of America’s 1st President, George Washington, appears.
Hillary, slightly stunned, asks, “How can I best serve my country?”
Washington replies, “Never tell a lie.”
Hillary retorts, “I don’t think I can do that”.
The second night, the ghost of Thomas Jefferson appears before the former crazy senator from new york.
Mrs. Clinton questions, “How can I best serve my country?”
Jefferson answers, “Listen to the people.”
“No, I’d rather not. I really want to push my agenda,” answers President Clinton.
On the third night, the ghost of Abe Lincoln appears before Mrs. Clinton.
Hillary again asks for this advice, “How can I best serve my country?”
Lincoln says, “Go to the theater.”
Clinton jokes:
- On the campaign trail Clinton claimed she was against NAFTA even though her husband was for it. This marked the first thing Hillary was against that Bill was for, other than MILFs.
- Republicans attacked Hillary’s plan to give every baby in America $5,000. Said top Republicans, what babies need are jobs, not handouts.
- In Carl Bernstein’s recent biography of Hillary Clinton, Bernstein claimed Clinton planned to divorce the first lady. Asked why she stayed married, Hillary was quoted as saying, ‘There are worse things than infidelity.’ Yeah chimed in Bill, like fidelity.
Funny George Bush Joke
Five presidents are on a plane - George Washington, Abraham Lincoln, Theodore Roosevelt, Thomas Jefferson, and George W. Bush.
George Washington says, “I will make someone happy!” and throws a dollar bill off the plane.
Next, Abraham Lincoln says, “I will make five people happy!” and throws 5 one dollar bills off the plane.
Then, Theodore Roosevelt says, “I will make 500 people happy!” and throws 500 one dollar bills off the plane.
Finally, Thomas Jefferson says, “I will make everyone happy!” and throws George W. Bush off the plane.
Golf Joke
Dave had just returned from his Sunday round of golf later than normal and looking exhausted. “Bad day at the course?” Dave’s wife asked.
“Everything was going fine,” he said. “Then Jim had a heart attack on the 10th tee and died.”
“Oh, that’s awful!” his wife said.
“You’re not kidding. For the whole back nine it was hit the ball, drag Jim, hit the ball, drag Jim.”
Bad Eskimo Pun
Two eskimos were sitting in a kayak. They got chilly, so they decided to light a fire in the craft. Unfortunately, it sank - proving once and for all that you can’t have your kayak and heat it too.
